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Girl Boss Culture is Bullshit.

Let's talk about "Girl Boss" culture. You know the kind. The one that tells females they can do it all. Run the successful business, raise the kids so they never need therapy, somehow exercise for 2 hours a day, always be dressed for the perfect Instagram picture and, most importantly, NEVER, EVER admit it's a struggle.

It's bullshit. Girl Boss culture is bullshit. I know because I've internalized it and am now working to dismantle it.

Last night I was struck down with a pretty awful migraine. The kind where all I could do was lay down in a dark room with ice on my head, praying the stabbing pain would stop. I was upset, not because I was sick but because I couldn't spend the evening "hustling" to make more soap and then pre-plan a few social media posts. I felt guilty that my husband dealt with two cranky kids independently, even though he's competent. I started crying because I felt like a bad friend for not responding to texts promptly and never wishing people Happy Birthday on Facebook. I HAD AN F-ING MIGRAINE. Why couldn't I simply let myself rest and feel better? Because of Girl Boss culture.

This photo took a photographer, a make-up artist, a stylist, photoshop and renting a house that isn't mine. 

On the surface, being a Girl Boss seems like an aspirational, feminist ideal. YAS BITCH, break that glass ceiling. You go, girl, you can do it all, and you do it alone. First off, I'm 40. I'm not a girl anymore. Don't infantilize me. Second- no one can do it all. Humans developed in tribes and communities from the start. No one "did it all" because it is physically impossible.

The Girl Boss culture is just another way for society to praise women instead of giving them things like equal pay, equal treatment, and the ability to do what they want with their bodies. Just think about how it feels to call a male "Boy Boss." That tells you all you need to know. There is also a deep vein of racism that runs through Girl Boss culture as well.

Am I a badass? Totally. Am I a hard worker? Yup. Do I have a ton of privilege that has allowed me to take The Oakley Soap Co from a hobby to where it is now? Absolutely. Am I Girl Boss? Nope. I cannot do it all. Large parts of my life a messy, and you know what? That's okay. My flaws are just as significant as accomplishments, and I'm not longer going to hide them.

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